Humility

"God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth." Matt. 5:5
I've been reading for a long time now (b/c it's so good and I underline every.single.word!), 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp. IF YOU HAVENT READ IT, IT IS A MUST READ...MORE SO THAN ANY OTHER BOOK OUT THERE. Tonight's reading struck me to my core and some issues I've dealt with lately and totally rocked my world. So much so that I had to share them with you in hopes that you would be encouraged and changed and inspired and one day my girls will read these same words and know and learn about humility, the way God intends it to be.
The humble are the laid-low and bowed ones, the surprised ones with hands open to recieve whatever He gives...I find now that God's gifts are on shelves one beneath the other, and that it is not a question of growing taller but of stooping lower, and that we have to go down, always down, to get His best gifts. To receive God's gifts, to live exlated and joy filled, isnt a function of straining higher, harder, doing more, carrying long the burdens of the super-Pharisees or ultra-saints. Receiving God's gifts is a gentle, simple movmement of stooping lower...The quiet song of gratitude, eucharisteo, lures humility out of the shadows because to receive a gift the knees must bend humble and the hand must lie vulnerably open and the will must bow to accept whatever the Giver chooses to give. Eucharisteo alwys preceeds the miracle. I humbly give God thanks for the gifts. I practice eucharisteo. And in that place of humble thanks, God exalts and gives more gifts and more of Himself, which humbles and lays the soul down lower. And good God responds with greater gifts of grace and even more of Himself. And I ride the undulating wave of grace, this lifting higher and higher in grace, the surging crest of joy, and this plunging lower and lower in humble thankfulness only to rise yet higher in grace and this eucharisteo, it offers the ultimate joyride and I dont think I ever want to get off. He must increase, I must decrease-not becuase that is burden but so that my joy might increase with more of Him!
Can we really expect joy all the time?...That I may feel disappointment and the despair may flood high, but to give thanks is an action and rejoice is a verb and these are not mere pulsing emotions. While I may not always feel joy, God asks me to give thanks in all things, becuase He knows that the feeling of joy begins in the action of thanksgiving. Joy is God and God is is joy and joy doesnt negate all other emotions-joy transcends all other emotions. Joy is a flame that glimmers only in the palm of the open and humble hand. In an open and humble palm, released and surrendered to receive, light dances, flickers happy. The moment the hand is clenched tight, fingers all pointing toward self and rights and demands, joy is snuffed out. Anger is the lid that suffocates joy until she lies limp and lifeless. The demanding of my own will is the singular force that smothers out joy-nothing else. Pride slays thanksgiving...A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves. Dare I ask what I think I deserve? A life of material comfort? A life free of all trials, all hardship, all suffering? A life with no discomfort, no inconveniences? Are there times that a sense of entitlement-expectations-is what inflates self, detonates anger, offends God, extinguishes joy? Thankfully, God never gives what is deserved, but instead, God graciously, passionately offers gifts, our bodies, our time, our very lives.
The secret of joy's flame: Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control...let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy's fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper suprised thanks. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will...And I humbly open my hand to release my will to receive His, to accept His wind. I accept the gift of now as it is-accept God-for I cant be receptive to God unless I receive what He gives."